An open-minded atheist

I am an open-minded atheist.

I have a strong urge, a desire, a passion to learn more all of the time.
I am open-minded to listening to all viewpoints, arguments, discussions and ideas.
I have done searching my whole life and I continue to do this everyday.

I was brought up as a Christian and after needing reassurance for what I was taught up to believe in, I decided to search for the truth.
Search for the truth I did, with an open-mind, an open-heart and an unbiased approach.

I first wanted to confirm what I was already following, but this did not work.
Over time, I came to conclude that God did not exist.
However, I am always open to arguments and discussions from Christians.

I did not run away from God and I am not running away from God, like many say.
I do not feel anger towards God.
I do not deny that God exists.
I want to believe in what feels right in my mind, my heart and my soul.
I will not settle for what I was brought up to believe in.
I do not settle for what people try to talk me into.
I do not just simply believe what I am taught.
I go out and do the research and search for the answers myself.
I use logic, reasoning and careful analysis to come to the truth.
That truth for me is atheism.

I do not shut God out of my life.
I prayed and pleaded with God for months, possibly even a couple of years to reassure me and guide the way.
Once I came to that conclusion that God did not exist, everything began to click, everything began to make sense.
I did not need to rationalize all of the contradictions and unanswered questions in Christianity.
I did not need to worry about all of the different interpretations of what is wrong, what is right, what is good and what is bad.
I opened my mind and did not judge or shut people out, simply for their beliefs.
I felt at peace with my mind and just inside overall.

Things in life make sense to me.
I don't really have any questions that cannot be answered.
I do not simply believe, because it is "obvious" or "comforting".
In a lot of ways, God's existence is far from obvious and far from comforting.
I don't just accept answers and rationalizations that are vague.
I can't just "have faith" in something that does not make any sense to me.

One major problem that I have, is that there is a clear line between faith and logic.
People on both sides have brought up this point.
Many Christians and non-Christians alike admit that following logic will not bring you to God. Just as by using faith, you cannot necessarily follow what makes logical sense, based on our physical world that is under the control of physical, scientific laws.
I don't believe that if God existed, he would make His existence so questionable and in many ways, illogical.

In the end, I just wish people of all faiths and beliefs could be open-minded, understanding and tolerant of other beliefs.
That would end a lot of conflict, wars, violence and hate in our world.
I wish we could all come together, consider all sides and be civil about it.

Quincy